Judgmental Love

For awhile I had been given a title of Judgmental Love. I wasn’t sure what I was to do with it…where it was supposed to go. The premise that came to me was the fact that so many times we love based on how things are supposed to look. We love based on what the manual from a church says instead of going to the real source where we learn what love is…the Bible.

"Any spirit that leads you to be more judgmental, more critical, more violent, more harsh, or more hard, rather than becoming more tender, more compassionate, more loving, more aware of the poor and the broken and the outsider and outcast, is NOT from Jesus." --David Busic from a sermon in the month of March via Lisa Jones’s facebook page

From the book: So You Don't Want To Go To Church Anymore - Wayne Jacobsen via some friends’ facebook page.

"I'm convinced that most Christian meetings give people enough of God's things to inoculate them against the reality of His presence."

...religion is...a shame-management system, often with the best of intentions and always with the worst of results...in the end people are still addicted to shame and bounce between self-pity and self-glory, never finding freedom to simply live in him. It makes people think God wants a cause and effect relationship with them. If they are good, he will be good to them."

"I would waste far less time ragging on religion and find out just how much Jesus wants to be your friend without any strings attached. He will care for you and if given a chance will become more real to you than your best friend.... - this really struck me and my prayer for everyone to not only learn, but feel - started reading the book last night

After hearing Tim Bourland’s sermon on 2 John
2 John 5-6 (NLT) “And now I want to urge you, dear lady, that we should love one another. This is not a new commandment, but one we had from the beginning. Love means doing what God has commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another, just as you hear from the beginning.”

Life Application Note:
We can show love in many ways: by avoiding prejudice and discrimination, by accepting people, by listening, helping, giving, serving, and refusing to judge.

If we love judgmentally or expect love to be pretty, is kind of like God accepting the rich young man based on his appearance. Real Christlike love is to be based on the grace and mercy as shown to us from Jesus. Not on the church’s list of do’s and don’ts.

2 John 9 (NLT) “For if you wander beyond the teaching of Christ you will not have fellowship with God.”

When the church (any church) takes more stock in the manual that man has written up, is this a form of wandering from the teaching of Christ? The crux is loving people unconditionally…in the manner that Christ calls us to.

Last night, April 13, 2011, God came to me. I realized that everything I have been trying in the last year, year and a half or so has been in my own strength. That nothing has been dependent upon the one who died for me…whose blood has been shed for me.

You see, the hurt that I had been holding onto was controlling my life. Because the hurt had come from the place I thought was safe (the church), I lost my trust in its people. As a result of that, I had lost my ability to trust God…to trust the one who loves me more than anyone.

Then several things came to me last night via Facebook and believe it or not from the show The Talk.

From Facebook:

Reading Jesus Calling 4 today.
"I designed u to depend on Me moment by moment, recognizing that apart from Me, u can do nothing."
BAM. (via @NatalieGrant)

From Jenny Swank:
"Remember who you are. You are not a failure. You are not incapable. You are not a loser. You are none of those things. You are a Jesus girl capable of victory. You are absolutely capable of being empowered.. God Loves you- head to toe.. Remember who you are." by Lysa Terkeurst - Made to Crave

And the following song which I first saw online while watching an episode of The Talk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oew56nR3UuI

As a result of these three things and the voice of the Holy Spirit that I thought had left me, I was figuratively brought to my knees. God came to me saying, let me take control of your life once again…let me have the wheel back. And so I did

Now I am not saying the healing is totally complete, but I am more on my way than I have been in a really long time.

After releasing my life to God again, I started reading Facing Your Giants.

Then a lot of what I have been feeling and/or believing was so real in the notes below from Facing Your Giants mixed in with a few Ronda notes:

Chapter 4: “How will we the church react when someone comes in not pure?” Maybe the main question is how are we supposed to react? “Will that person find: criticism or compassion?; rejection or acceptance?; raised eyebrows or extended hands?” Where we are as individuals may not be pretty, but we are to be accepted just as God accepts us as we are warts and all…no judgement.

“When David is running from Saul, protecting his life. Where does he go? He goes to the church. David shows his weakness, his humanity. He is untruthful with the priest. He lost is God-focus.. Despite all that is told to Ahimelech, he gives David food and a sword. As Eugene Peterson puts it, “the function of the church is to be “a sanctuary, where I, like David, get bread and a sword, strength for the day and weapons for the fight”.”

“To the spiritually hungry, the church offers nourishment, Romans 8:38-39
To the fugitive, the church offers weapons of truth, Romans 8:28

The church exists to provide both. Does she succeed in doing so?
Jesus calls the church to lean in the direction of compassion.
At the end of the sanctuary day, the question is not how many laws were broken but rather, how many desperate Davids were nourished and equipped? Ahimelech teaches the church to pursue the spirit of the law more than its letter.”

“The church just as Jesus did on the Sunday after Friday’s crucifixion is to be bread for souls (John 20:19) and provide a sword for the struggle (John 20:22). Two things that are needed in times of desperation.”

Just because someone’s situation isn’t pretty doesn’t mean we don’t love with open arms. After all as pointed out in Facing the Giants: Chapter 5, …(the church is) “one gift of grace removed from”…an ugly situation. The church is to be the place where one can find “refuge in God’s presence, comfort in his people.” Are we really being the place where this can happen? Or are we judging instead of showing the merciful compassion of our Lord?

I would appreciate some feedback from these thoughts. Not sure this is truly complete yet…there may be a part two. We will see.

Time Just Slips Through Like Sands in an Hourglass

Still journeying on this ride we call life.

Seeking truth as truth - not legalism, but what is really truth. This is where I am on this ride. How much do I believe in is based on human rules and not God's rules? Finally, I am beginning to understand what God really cares about - where his real concerns are. It isn't in the rules that man has made. It is the actual commands from God that is to guide us. It isn't a list of man's do's and don'ts. It is about what God says is right or wrong.

Seeking who I really am as this forty-something. Do we ever really figure this out - or are we always working on who we really are? Because quite honestly, I would have hoped I would have had this figured out by this time in life.

Seeking a place where I can land, where I can be who I am meant to be. Honestly, I have more confidence about who I am and where I am going than I have ever had in my life!! I find myself answering questions about life in a way that I thought would never happen. I am finding myself believing more in my ability to make decisions without questioning who I am. And realizing the decisions that are being made are just fine!

As a dear friend has been telling me (us): If we don't take care of ourselves - no one else will. That doesn't mean we don't care about other people. We just have to take better care of who we are. (Now just to convince him of that!)

Well that is enough for now. Just wanted to share with friends out there.

Time Has Been Tickin' Away

Just looked at the blog and it has been a really long time since I have posted anything on here. Life has gotten busy, but a good kind of busy.

Scott is still working at Nazarene Publishing House.

I started working August 20 and am so grateful.

We are attending Discover Community Church. This is a church plant that is currently meeting at Linden West Elementary School in Gladstone, Missouri. The pastor and his family are good friends of ours. The family and the church have really welcomed us with open arms. They have been a huge part of the healing process in our lives. We meet each Sunday at 5:00 p.m. We love having church at that time. It really feels like we get a day of rest as God had planned for the Sabbath.

It has been good to reconnect with friends up here in KC. We have been busier since we have moved back here than the last six months in Wichita. Not only have we reconnected with new friends, but we have made new friends as well. Having people involved in our lives is very important. It seems like we tend to forget that we do not live on an island and we really do need each other.

Anytime family or friends want to come for a visit. Just let us know. We would love to see you.

Not a very profound update, but this should fill you in on life at the moment.

Until next time.

Rules and Control

Today while driving Scott to work, the thought came to me regarding rules and control. There are rules to control how fast we drive. There are rules about which lane of the road to be in to take a certain exit. There are also God’s rules. Do we only follow the rules when there is a presence of authority?

This came to me today as there were two lines of traffic closely following the speed limit. Some would start to pass and maybe even pass those in the “fast” lane only to find there was a reason we were closely following the speed rule. The reason for this was the presence of a police car in one of the lanes. Now, how many of us are guilty of really disobeying speed limit signs. To us, sometimes, they are only suggestions. Not something to really follow.

The same thought hit me with our relationship with God. Do we only obey His rules when His presence is directly in front of us? Are there some rules that we consider as only suggestions?

The crux of the matter is control. Rules ultimately control our lives. Whose rules are we following? Whose control are we under?

Just some thoughts for today.

Our Third Week

Here we are week three. Scott is really getting into the groove of this working thing. This week also brought an interview to Ronda for a possible full-time position. Should know something about this by the end of the week.

We have spent more time with some dear, dear friends. It was really good to visit with Yvonne last Wednesday, LeAnn on Saturday morning and Dave and Lucy on Saturday evening. This has been the best part about moving back here. Reconnecting with such a great support system.

Ronda continues to work on unpacking the apartment. The next task is to finally get some stuff hung on the walls in the family room. Then, to organize her closet. Since the move, she has grounded herself from shopping for clothes for the next six months. Those of you who know Ronda, knows that this will be quite a challenge.

Scott has his iPad now or as some good Wichita friends call it, the geriatric iPod! He is in seventh heaven with his gadgets.

Keep praying for our transition back into this home we call Kansas City.

Two Weeks

We have been in Kansas City for two weeks now. And, already it feels like home - with the exception that all the unpacking is not complete yet. But, it will get there and as some keep reminding, it doesn't have to be done over night.

Our life is getting filled with time with friends. It is nice to know we still have our friends here in our corner, friends who support us. Thank you for being here for us.

God is really working in this move. Scott is loving his job at Nazarene Publishing House. Ronda starts working at Coldwater Creek on July 20 and is looking forward to this. It seems God does not have office work in plans for her. It is kind of hard for her to get used to this home during the day thing.

We are attending a church plant, Discover Community Church (www.discoveries4life.com), led by our friends Tim and Tammy Bourland. If anyone in the Northland of Kansas City is looking for a church home, give this church a shot! Tim and Tammy are people following the Lord's will for their lives with a true heart for people!!

If any of you are ever in the Kansas City area, look us up. We would love to see you.

On a New Journey...

Well the Messer's have moved once again. We are back in our 2nd home of Kansas City, Missouri. We look forward to reconnecting with our friends here and hope to be better at this blogging thing once again.